ol dee lyne/paparahzzzzeee

as the album gets closer and closer to leaking on the internet (hey i have to get familiar by june 13), mad decent dropped the drop the line video, feat. rearranged audio that is presumably how the song will sound on the album. i dunno.... santi's verse was tacked on the end, there's no "hold the line" chorus vocal and the instrumental's stretched out a bit. personally i liked the dj edit better.

also, this is just so dope. lady gaga... oh man. to quote an ok coen bros movie, "you fascinate me."

trillah

some guy put together a venn diagram (oh hell its one of those visual writing tools you have to use in second grade) of michael jackson, famous musicians you may or may not associate with the king of pop on a regular basis, and the mj songs they sampled from him. it's a cool list, i've been thinking all day about other examples and could only come with two he missed.

Outsidaz - Macosa (feat. Eminem) (diggin in the crates for that one)

interpolating Wanna Be Startin Somethin from Thriller

(my digital copy is mp4 format which isn't supported but you know what it sounds like)

Louis La Roche - Love (i had for a long time attributed this song to Thomas Bangalter (Daft Punk Dude) because of a mean trick some internet thug played on cyberspace last valentine's day)

samples It's The Falling In Love from Off The Wall

i reached back like a pimp and i smacked the ho

[SCENE: sitting around a campfire. at dusk. someone (no names but its me) plays an ugly rendition of a famous beatles song on a martin (!) guitar that is not his]

"blackbird singing in the dead of night...."

"homie scored a key he's gonna fly...."

"wait what song is that?"

"oh god... its.... damn who is it by?"

"i think it starts with an s. swimmy, swammy, supersonic?"

"no i don't think."

"hear let me look it up on my iphone."

[a minute passes]

"dynamite hack!"

"i was way off."

"i'm gonna download it."

[three minutes later]

"yeah that wasn't as good as i remembered it."

campfire shit:

Dynamite Hack - Boyz-N-The Hood

o.g. shit:

Eazy-E - Boyz-In-The Hood

omg the f-ing craziest thing happened to me

man, whut a fuckin memorial day weakend my boy has dis private jet so we all chillin in flight, on r way 2 da florida keys we got the music box bumpin you know what it is but all a sudden da stewardess comes up (she look just like 1 of those coco girlz) screamin n shit and then a pilot gets on da speakers causing mass hysteria 2, sayin we gonna die, we got no engine, i'm like whut?? we like 53,000 feet in da muthafuckin air i ain't no going down over sum gator infested swamp with no fuckin mosquito. i look over at my boy and he's mad spaced out, and i'm like yo do sumthin and he looks at me sez like man yo eyes are mad red u been smokin 2 much and that's when it hit me i wuz just reel high n it was all just a mirage so i ordered 1 of doze tropicall drinks wit da lil umbrella in em n we had a holiday on ice u know we had 2 take it to the streets! it wuz such a great time shout outz 2 my doggs archigram, buffalo bunch, knight club and play paul 4 being so dope i even shed a tear or 2 n when i got home i crydamoure.

humix after all: part two

this is a part two. scroll down to the previous post or click here to update your brain matter, cuz one day it may matter.

so i've given remix after all the old college try about cinco o seis times, and combined with the fact that i'm like pavlov's dog when it comes to the punk of daft i think i can fill everybody with my two sense. of course my opinion is liable to change in the future, so i guess these are really first impressions. i've divided the tracks up into categories, like so:

the mehhhh........

Human After All (The Disco Villains Remix)

too much distortion layered on compression layered on top of distortion layered on.... etc. it sounded like they took the original track, chained it to the back of their pick up truck and went off-roading through a briar patch. not in a good way. i would start the whole 'i'm so sick of every remix sounding like justice' schtick, but it was used later in mixes i liked. cute little 'disco villains' drop at the 4:00 mark though.

On/Off (The Noizy Kidz Daft Zapping Remix)

of course this is the obvious hard track to do because all you have to work with is 19 seconds of someone flipping through channels; you've pretty much have to create something from scratch. i wish the noizy kidz would have thought about what on/off means to the original album, because this mix doesn't fit in with the idea of the project, and it just ends up sounding like rehashes of other daft punk remixes (diplo's work it and soulwax's oh yeah come to mind). incorporating various dp samples is a good idea (even if i wish robot rock weren't one of them), but maybe they could have broken them up as if the listeners were scrolling through radio stations or something relevant to the album.

the okay:

Robot Rock (Immuzikation Remix)

pretty straightforward remix. sounds like 90% of the other ones that have been done. cutting up the vocal sample underneath the main power chords was a good idea, as was whatever that 80s sample was before the 2:00 mark. i wish someone would do a mix that wasn't an offering to the gods of distorted guitars.

Make Love (Chew Fu & Substantial Small Room Sax Fix)

everytime i listen to this it just reminds me of a mixtape track some rapper would put out. i warmed up to substantial's voice a little bit after listening to it a couple times, but i feel like his vocals are way too far up in the mix; it's very disconnecting. and while somebody might say oh he's got a nice flow, have you listened to how generic his lyrics are?? i do really love the saxophone addition, but what's with that weird blowing sound it sounds like whoever was playing the instrument was using a reed that had just been put through a coffee grinder haha.

Television Rules The Nation (Dirty Disco Youth Remix)

i'm digging this one. the jangling drums work really well here, and i think it was a good choice to seque the motorcyle revving synths into that ubiquitious monster riff. fairly basic mix, but effective.

the better:

Technologic (Kids At The Bar Remix)

the first thing i said when i heard the opening was 'crank that!' haha but this got pretty good. i felt like the synth sounds they were using were fairly run of the mill, but they did a good job with them.

Emotion (Werewolf by Night Remix)

okay, ya think dude was obsessing over ryan leslie when he made this???? please listen to valentine and then listen to the beginning of emotion. then everyone that hates on ryan leslie but digs this song can read my blog post about what a great producer ryan leslie is and they can thank me for putting them on to him haha. the vocals were really low in this mix, anybody else think? i liked this one alot though, almost made the last category.

the cream of the crop:

The Prime Time Of Your Life (Tits & Clits Remix)

what a great name. it must be something about prime time, because that para one remix off the japan bonus disc was straight fire, and so is this one. i think having this right next to the disco villains mix shows that you can bite major elements of justice's remix style (slappa da bass mon), but one sounds like crap and one sounds really dope. the two faux fadeouts were killer duuuuude.

Steam Machine (The Company Kang Remix)

this one is fantastic, mostly because that keyboard line, but also because i think the song utilizes and expands upon the original's fortes, a point i made in my previous posts, turning the song into a slow burning dancefloor anthem. that chord progression is siiick.

The Brainwasher (Melee Beats Remix)

it's funny, because steam machine and brainwasher were probably my least favorite tracks off human after all. i've never heard of company kang and melee beats before, but i've got to tip my hat off to them, because they've constructed great dancefloor material. the great thing about brainwasher is how the producer flips the guitar riff in the original into a funky little piano lick.

those are my thoughts. as far as nitpicking goes, there are a couple of times where the transition between songs is abrubtly jarring; adding another beat of silence here and there would have worked together towards making a more cohesive listening of the album.

i have to say though, this is such a cool idea. i hope no one reading this takes my critique as a diss towards the project. rather, it's a compliment (not to mention i'm a little envious that i know i'm not yet good enough to be a part of the remixing) that i'm enamored enough with the idea to really give it my full attention, something i hope the rest of the internet does. it'd be cool if this got substantial attention, i haven't seen it (yet) on any of the major sites. i read something about somebody suggesting tackling discovery next, but i'm not sure i'd be so keen about that. you do too much of a cool thing and it just becomes generic and expected. plus the quality of the remixes is going to decrease as the demand for more albums increases. human after all is such a perfect album for a project like this; discovery most definitely is not. take your time and really think about another album that would be worthy/benefit from this kind of treatment.

click here to download Remix After All

click here to visit The Lemur Blog, where you can get more info on the project and links to the other blog sites

also, for anyone noticing, the remix cd is almost exactly a minute longer than the original. eerie coincidence?

humix after all: part one

i'm ashamed to say i was a little late on this really fucking cool project that's been slowly molding into blogosphere fruition. thank god i figured everything out last night, because it came out a couple of hours ago. any later in updating you and it would have been mortifying.

so a couple (10) blogs out there got together and decided, being the great middlemen they are, to produce (in the traditional sense) a recreation of daft's punk third opus, human after all, which to many people fell a teeny bit short of expectations, and the accompanying remix disc, which many people felt plummeted to its death.

granted, they set the bar pretty high with the one-two punch of homework and discovery, especially since they just went and coverted a bunch of top 40 listeners with one more time. they then, as one review put it, "hit the self-destruct button," releasing nine new songs and one channel-surfing interlude that were minimal to the point of demo-quality, and sounded like disco samples filtered through the garbage disposal in your kitchen sink.

while that last sentence might incline you to believe i'm not a huge fan of the album, don't be mistaken. of course i, probably like most every other daft punk fan out there, wrestled with an inner tantrum for a while, feeling like i was somehow the butt of a very inside joke. but over time i eventually accepted the album for what it is, and came to enjoy (maybe the right word is appreciate) it very much, despite the fact that it is NOT the lot of things that everyone wanted it to be.

what the alive 2007 tour illustrated was how strong the album's ideas were. mashed-up against cresendolls and sped up a bit, television rules the nation is pure stadium status. throw the rollin & scratchin drums under prime time of your life, and watch out cuz your face might melt off. steam machine literally drips sweat globules down your face when around the world is filtered up underneath it.

but it took a little while for a lot of us to understand those dynamics, and the remix disc daft punk included with the japan release of the album didn't help. there were a few solid tracks, like erol arlkan's take on the brainwasher and parts of the digitalism (ironically the ones that didn't feature any part of the original song) remix were really dope. and daft punk themselves were so pleased with para one's reimagining of prime time that they incorporated it into the encore for their tour. but only the latter really utilized the strengths of the original recording, and with an album as (dare i say) misunderstood as human after all, you would hope that a remix album would leave the listener wanting to go back and give the original album another spin. also, someone really should have been shot for including that peaches track.

anyways, now that i'm done ranting, back to my original point, which is that 10 blogs out there each chose a track off human after all, and then contracted the track out to (presumably) one of the production acts that the blog has had a big hand in breaking. the result is remix after all, and i was originally going to throw in my two cents on the results, but i've already written quite a bit and have therefore decided to turn this post into a two-parter. if you simply can't wait until tomorrow, google will surely point you in the right direction and you can make up your own mind.

some highlights from the original remix album:

Daft Punk - The Prime Time of Your Life (Para One Remix)

Daft Punk - The Brainwasher (Erol Arlkan's Horrorhouse Dub)

Daft Punk - Technologic (Digitalism's Highway to Paris Remix)

let's go lambert let's go

that's right, i've been following american idol. not religiously, but i've seen a bunch of the performance nights, probably because tuesday night is my only night off and we don't have cable. but since tonight was the penultimate show for the eighth season, i thought i would weigh in, because to my surprise i think adam's going to win.

this is not the opinion i've held for the last couple weeks, watching the far tamer and sympathetic and john mayer-ish contestants and thinking to myself, how would a pimple-scarred 27 year old with slightly androgynous tendencies and an unnerving at-the-camera serial killer grin possibly have a chance at such a popularity contest?

yet logic be damned, he's still in it, and i think he's gonna do it. kris allen is cool i guess, if you were (are) the kind of kid whose heart skips a beat when your dorm-mate grabs his martin for singalong acoustic renderings of top 40 ditties (heartless? come on, don't you remember that gin n juice cover that everybody thought was phish but really wasn't and was just fuckin stupid to begin with?).

i'm not going to speculate on the social and cultural implications of america electing someone like lambert over someone like allen, but here's to adam, who i think we'll all be seeing a lot more of, regardless of whether that douche bag that sings out of the side of his mouth wins tomorrow.

lambert's picked some good ones; here are two (sorry, i would have posted cher but to my embarrassment/disappointment i don't actually have it):

Led Zeppelin - Whole Lotta Love

The Rolling Stones - I Can't Get No Satisfaction

UPDATE: it seems the times, with infinitely more time on their hands (not to mention a paycheck for the fruit of their labor) has read my post and expanded upon it. thanks for the shoutout new york. below is a little snippet that i sort of subconsciously understood watching the show but never really put my finger on it until reading this:

The family concept, in which we visit the contestants’ hometowns, is a major marketing tool that touches every aspect of “American Idol.” This year the addition of a fourth judge, Kara DioGuardi, added a surrogate older sister in a panel whose idiosyncrasies are as familiar to today’s television audience as those of Archie Bunker’s 1970s television family.

Mr. Cowell is the cranky, opinionated paterfamilias and teller of hard truths who usually gets the last word, and Paula Abdul the neurotic, dithering mother with the crocodile smile, who is fiercely protective of her brood. Randy Jackson, the good-hearted uncle, is the family’s unofficial peacemaker, and Ryan Seacrest, the host, its fiercely ambitious oldest son, a golden boy engaged in an Oedipal battle with dad. Clive Davis, the chief creative officer of Sony BMG Records who supervises many of the recordings of “American Idol” finalists, is the benign great uncle and senior accountant who drops by occasionally to dispense statistics about chart positions and sales figures.

rather be summertime than doin time

this is a preemptive post, because it sure doesn't feel like summertime right now.

Sublime - Doin' Time (Bradley's Version)

Sublime - Doin' Time (Remixed by Marshall Arts feat. The Pharcyde)

for the record, i have never 'sipped a zima', but am up for the challenge

"alright you little sexpot"

that's what elise just told as i was grooving to the tunes i've picked for tonight's post; it must mean i'm on to something good.

sorry about the last couple posts skimping on the text and such. the gf suggested to me a week or so ago that i should do a post with my top ten songs of all time. i'm not sure if i'm ready to make a commitment like that (narrowing my favorites down is just such a daunting task!) but a "top ten of ____ greats" sounds like it would be something right up my alley.

so, without further ado, here are TEN SONGS WITH SOME HELLA HARD DRUMMIN, homie.

(in no particular order)

Led Zeppelin - When the Levees Break

not even the beastie boys really did this break justice when they opened their first album, licensed to ill (originally to be titled 'don't be a faggot', i kid you not) with it. the great blues sliding riff is killer as well. these are some hella hard drums, homie.

Joe Cocker - Woman to Woman

i think josh homme of queens of the stone age was talking about this song being hella hard in some interview a couple years ago, and he mentioned that the drums here are pretty much the basis for dr. dre's drum programming career lately. i think dre borrowed a little more than the drums, but for the life of me i can't realize which song he sampled it for... hmm... 

The Cool Kids - What Up Man

i can't believe that this hadn't been done already (to my knowledge). old school hip hop drumming is always referred to as "boom bap", but it took a long time for someone to take that phrase quite literally. boom. clap. bass.

The Beatles - Tomorrow Never Knows

Ringo Starr always get a bum rep for being a shitty drummer that got really lucky. i always took that for gospel until i started really listening to the fab four. this doesn't exemplify anything techincally proficient or anything, but the song that launched the psychedelic phase of 'the greatest band there probably ever will be' probably wouldn't be half as great without ringo's little stutter number.

Air - Remember

this song hit me in the face when i first listened to moon safari, probably because the drumming alone turns the vocodorama into something completely different than any other song on their otherwise chill pill of a debut. wait for my eyes to roll when kid cudi or drake (or kanye for that matter) realizes this as well and snatches it for some mixtape. hella hard and smooth like silk at the same time.

Daft Punk - Rollin' & Scratchin'

i can't say enough good things about this track. when i first bought homework (we're talking back in high school) i couldn't stand this song. its just some annoying high pitched squeal that goes on for like eight minutes. it took a long time to realize it's absolute genius. without rollin and scratchin, there would be no justice, or electro-bangers or anything. i'd put this up against slayer for degrees of metal brutality any day of the week. the premise is incredibly simple, yet at the same time so perfectly executed. sure, the pitch-altered metallic synth growls and shrieks its way into climax heaven, but its the drums that turn the party level from 3 to an 11, and all that enters at that one point is a goddamn hi-hat. dp do fantastic things with this song live (obviously), but probably the best version i've found is off alive 1997 (it's a 45 minute single file, too long to post here), where they throw in some bass drum rolls to add a little swing to this beast's stomp. how can something so abrasive be so fucking danceable at the same time?

Schoolly-D - PSK

they say schooly-d invented gangsta rap. i guess psk stands for parkside killers, which sounds like a crew i wouldn't want to run into doing my jazzercise routines down the sidewalk late at night (sometimes there's no other time in my busy schedule). that doesn't impress me, but what does is the little bird who told me dude recorded this whole song in one take. that's vocals and beats, while operating the drum machine manually at the same time as kickin his little raps. oh yeah, and biggie does a great tribute to this on life after death's disc one.

The Honey Drippers - Impeach The President

i hadta include a classic break break in this list somewhere, and this is none more hella hard than impeach the president. it's the claussen pickle of old soul breaks: cold, crisp and delicious. and if you know me, you know claussen's the only brand i'll stand for.

Spoon - Paper Tiger

again, sometimes its not the level of difficulty or studio tomfoolery that makes or breaks a hella hard drum, but just a great idea done perfectly. the idea here is to waste nothing. every element has its role and adds something completely different to the mix: the reverb bass drum, the stuttering/phasedthephuckout tom tom, the steady rim shot. whoda thunk a couple dudes from austin even knew what hella hard meant?

Blur - Song 2

i had to include this one, mostly for personal reasons. growing up in the school band playing the lame ass (or so i thought at the time) trumpet, i was nearly salivating with envy at the drum section (who, for the most part, only played their stupid snares or bass, which made them even lamer than me). but this one kid would always sneak onto the little kit in the music room when our teacher wasn't looking, and he would always hammer out the opening drum pattern to song 2, which if you remember was like the end all be all for sixth graders in the mid to late 90s. and yeah, it still does kick groovy.

and before anyone mentions it (all because of that goddamn movie trailer), the drums at the end of 'in the air tonight' are too hard to include in this list, since they would undoubtedly put everyone else to shame. i think there should be some sort of musical drug testing committee, because phil had to have injected his snare drums with steroids or something. it's just not humanly possible otherwise.

would the real elton john please stand up?

this has got to be the greatest elton john song the rocket man never wrote. and to think i wrote david bowie off a long time ago for (apparently) no good reason.

David Bowie - Life on Mars?

oh yeah and labyrinth is a great movie.

put ya stunna shades on...

i don't remember where i first heard this remix, but i have to post it because a) its a good remix by definition in that it, while admittedly becoming repetitive after the first minute, completely reimagines the song's attitude and b) i worry that the mp3 will drop off the internet and into selfish hard drive obscurity.

not so great album, but not so bad album either. one of the better things lil jon has been involved with over his career.

E-40 - Tell Me When To Go (feat. Keak Da Sneak) (prod. by Lil' Jon)

E-40 - Tell Me When To Go (feat. Keak Da Sneak (Trackademicks Remix)

Bonus:

E-40 - Yay Area (prod. Rick Rock)

this guy.... i've got a good feeling about this guy

i've got a pretty good radar for movies. ask elise, i'm always reminding her as we walk out of a good movie that i called it after seeing the trailer.

so i'm calling it about mr. hudson (that guy a lot of people thought was kid cudi on paranoid, which i hope gets a dope music video treatment)'s new album, straight no chaser. and before you think i'm just hopping on whatever new artist kanye is promoting these days, i have serious reservations about exactly how classic kid cudi's album will be, and i have no interest in glc, big sean or consequence.

granted i haven't heard anything but the lead single that kanye leaked today, and its very 808s. but i've read a couple of chris martin-comparing posts....

what i hope straight no chaser sounds like:

Mr. Hudson - Supernova (feat. Kanye West)

what i hope straight no chaser does not sound like:

Kanye West - Homecoming (feat. Chris Martin)

Jay-Z - Beach Chair (feat. Chris Martin)

all i see is... beatles beatles beatles

like was promised. these tres arrived in the mail yesterday. not those colors of course. but that would have been cool too.

made three beats today that i'm pretty happy with, despite the gorgeous weather outside. all three are beatles samples, which means at the end of the day that i'd never be able to clear them for actual usage. who the fuck cares though, this is the internet, have some fun people. not sure in what form i'm going to use them yet (wouldn't a beat tape that only used fab four samples be dope???), so i thought i would post the originals (the first i had made two weeks ago or so). lazily, all the samples come from the very beginnings of the song. by my definition, a classic sample is one that you can't just listen to the first couple of seconds of each song by an artist to get.

The Beatles - Lovely Rita (off Sgt. Pepper's)

The Beatles - Octopus's Garden (off Abbey Road)

The Beatles - I've Just Seen A Face (off Help!)

The Beatles - Maggie Mae (off Let It Be)

until the tracks show up in some form or another, you'll just have to use your imagination. and before you can say it, i know i know danger mouse already did this, kind of. whatevs, it's all good.

NEW MUSIC: third (and final) love lockdown remix

spent most of my day off today mowing the lawn, grocery shopping, catching up on lost...  etc etc i.e. i didn't allocate much time for tune-age. and of that special time with my midi keyboard: nothing going. thought i had a cool prince sample that i was working on over the last few sessions, but i realize now it's just bleh, and no matter how much you twiddle and fiddle with bleh, it's never going to be great. hey, you can't win every time.

so i had this track sitting around for about two months, and was having trouble sequencing it. that and the more you surf around the net, the more justice-esque "electro-banger" remixes you find, and i was having second thoughts about adding one more pig to the pile. the truth is, it's hard to find something these days that doesn't all sound like a desperate recreation of some track off †. (to be honest though, human after all did it first, which everyone hated until the alive 2006/7 tours)

so embrace the cliche. it is what it is: short, sweet, filter heavy. just because you reach for that candy bar that you know you shouldn't eat because your stomach is already sick from sugar overload doesn't make that snickers taste any less delicious.

Kanye West - Love Lockdown (Hear Mars Typical Electro-Banger Remix)

this track fulfills my "trilogy" obligation, meaning i can join the ranks of peter jackson, george lucas, (soon-to-be) jay-z, meatloaf and the man with no name. james lipton, i will be expecting your phone call.

hear mars and ?uestlove: bff, apparently

just checking out a couple twitter posts... britney... the rock... ?uestlove of the roots.. oh wait... sounds like he just listened to eminem's new album, that i posted on last night...

i'm right there with ya, ahmir.

Eminem - Deja Vu (prod. Dr. Dre) (i hope the irony is not lost on you)

candy & fruit

couple albums i had been curious without holding my breath about leaked recently, and to my surprise i was pleasantly surprised with some of the results.

Eminem - My Mom (prod. Dr. Dre)

Eminem - Underground (prod. Dr. Dre)

dr. dre's production is probably the saving grace for 'relapse'. that and slim shady's morbidly black sense of humor that pervades most of the album. you'd think that his shtick, which hasn't changed since the slim shady lp, would have gotten tired by now. well it did, shortly after the eminem show. but dammit i'm a little embarassed to admit that this album, while small potatoes compared to the marshall mathers lp, was really fun to listen to.

Peaches - More

Peaches - Billionaire (prod. Simian Mobile Disco)

peaches is a pretty cool broad for somebody who occasionally dresses up as the bearded lady and refuses to shave her pubic hair. i don't know if you could call 'i feel cream' a feminist rallying cry, but i'm sure someone, somewhere, is considering writing her women's studies thesis on it. again, smart move by the woman who became a household name with the infamous opening line "suckin on my titties..." years and years ago to get some help on the production side of things. electroclash at its finest.

side note: word on the street is zshare is spotty, if at all functional, for a number of blog followers. it's always worked fine for me, but hey, the customer is always right. even if they're getting the product for free. so i'm using a new server, which is better because it can let you just play the mp3 right off the blogsite. if you wanna download it, just click 'divshare.' it's that easy.

drum-rush the show

 i kinda suck at drum programming.

the problem is that i don't drum. the drums are the odd man out when it comes to music. if you can play guitar, you can learn to write for any other instrument. it's all just simple conversion: strings to keys, keys to strings, strings to brass or wind or reed. it's still just a melody.

but drums, wtf, i don't get it. this is not the case of the white man not understanding the boogie. i can program basic rhythms, and sometimes i get lucky by accident, but i don't anything but mimic.

of course, it's not like you need complicated drum patterns to be successful. in fact, with a few exceptions, the majority of popular music relies on the boom-boom-pow.

i don't know enough about electronic music to philosophize about the 4 on the floor drum beat. but i know enough about hip hop drums, and i've boiled it down to five general schools of thought, represented in name by the producer (imo) most associated with that approach.

a dr. dre drum:

hard-hitting, crisp and clean sound. incredibly basic pattern. almost non existent. rarely adds something new to the production, opting instead to just emphasize what's already there.

Busta Rhymes - Get You Some (feat. Q-Tip & Marsha of Floetry)

a dj premier drum:

always sampling a classic breakbeat of some type, and always invoking the golden age of that boom-bap.

The Notorious B.I.G. - Unbelievable (drums sample The Honey Dripper - Impeach the President)

a timbaland drum:

influenced by world music, somtimes indian. usually has some type of unusual (to hip hop) percussive instrument playing and some screeching or squawking vocal sample. 

Missy Elliott - Get Ur Freak On

a danger mouse drum:

more complicated patterns (i'm not saying garth couldn't play them, i'm saying soulja boy can't). the project probably has some sort of backpacker, underground stamp on it.

Jay-Z - My 1st Song (The Grey Album remix)

a j. dilla beat:

free-flowing, non-quantized; jumpy in layman's terms. a lot of dilla beats (and he's kinda in a class by himself, even though a lot of people say they're influenced by him) are right on the verge of sounding off beat. that's because he's ill on the mpc like that.

D'Angelo - One Mo'gin

i think i'm pretty much always doing preemo beats. let's see if i can branch out a little. anybody got any others? who am i missing?

i'm like gnarls barkley, meets charles barkley... ummm...

i can't remember which came first, me realizing that i liked song no. 2 off gnarls barkley's second album, the odd couple, or seeing this video and then realizing that i loved song no. 2 off gnarls barkley's second album, the odd couple. a little surprised that chris milk of kanye's good-clean-wholesome-fun-but-not-award-worthy 'touch the sky' vid directed this; i wonder how much input cee-lo and danger mouse had into the process. anyways, just a fantastic video, i promise it gets really good a couple minutes in.

in case you can't wait that long, one of the guys from 'nsync is supposed to be in the beginning of this video. i can't tell which one with all the weird costumes and accents, but a special prize awaits the first person to comment with the correct answer (sorry elise, you aren't eligible).

THE VAULT: futuresex/lovesounds review

this was a piece originally written for buzzsaw, the student magazine at ithaca. they didn't like it/get it/whatever their problem was, and suggested that i turn it into a parody making fun of jt, because apparently they're weren't secure enough in their own sexuality to ever admit... etc. etc.

it got published in some fuckin magazine instead. no, that's the actual name. i know, clever. but shortlived.

it's not all rainbows and sunshine (or funny for that matter), but i still think its a great idea and i thought rather than trying to make it better i would just share it with you all as is. although i couldn't help the occasional comment in hindsight. and by hindsight i don't mean doggystyle.

there's no reason to write a straightforward review of this album. we know how good it is. we know that tracks 1-10 form some of the best, most cohesive music in the last couple of years (to that effect, we're also pretty embarassed by tracks 11 & 12). [actually over time i have come to respect track 12, despite being convinced that it would better serve its purpose as a b-side. track 11 still deserves to burned though] timbaland and danjahands, who handle 90% of the production here, are geniuses. [sometimes. see chris cornell's album] justin finally gives the middle finger to everyone who didn't realize he was the only genuine talent to come out of 'nsync. enough said.

but it's a bold statement to call your album 'futuresex/lovesounds'. when i think of all the music i'd want to make babies with, justin timberlake isn't high up on that list. but the more i thought about it, and the more i walked around campus with this album blaring out of my ipod, the more i wanted to call him out. 'justin,' i would say as if we were sitting in the towers dining hall talking over reheated chicken patties, [ithaca college joke you wouldn't understand] 'your album's bangin, but i'm not gonna bang to it.' or am i?

the following are notes i took while in the field doing the dirty and researching this timeless question:

1.futuresex/lovesoundsi didn’t realize how awkward it would be to propose this experiment. with the exception of one subject, i didn’t tell them what i was putting on beforehand. 'wait…' one confused participant said, taking my hands off her breasts. “what the fuck, did you just put on justin timberlake?” there were mixed reactions. one girl told me to “turn that shit off if you want me to stay.” two others actually got more excited. but whatever the initial reaction was, when the first chorus kicks in with those ridiculous chord stabs, all experiments were back on schedule. 5/5

2. sexyback (feat. timbaland)

this one was a problem, especially since it appears so early in the album.iI blame it on mtv. your mom knows this song. god damn it it’s overplayed. with the first subject, i was too drunk to realize that mouthing “i’m bringin’ sexy back” [i still do this at inappropriate times] along with justin was probably the worst thing i could have done. she started laughing so hard we had to stop so she could regain composure, and i had to take my hands out of her pants. the bass drum on every downbeat had things twerkin’ though. 3/5

3. sexy ladies/let me talk to you prelude

this shit is funky. however suspicious the last track might have made them, this one more than compensated. it’s impossible to listen to the breakdown and not want to start doing pelvic thrusts. i don’t care where you are. the cowbells in the prelude were a little distracting. But that’s just nitpicking. 4.5/5

4. my love (feat. t.i.)

bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. i was afraid that the sappy subject matter would be a problem, but I was so wrong. SO wrong. try tellin’ me that beat isn’t an absolute monster and i’ll straight up slap your ass. [is this a threat to guys as well???? i don't think i gave much thought to that sentence...] i promise. 5/5

5. lovestoned/i think she knows interlude

oh shit. another out-the-park home run. one girl dug her nails in my ass when the guitar kicked in. [if you can't tell by this point, none of this actually happened to me] i still have marks. the problem again was the interlude. it really kicked ass at sucking. the first time i was unprepared, but the second time we stopped and made-out, which while sounding rather anti-climactic, fit pretty perfectly. boo-ya. 4/5

6. what goes around.../...comes around

not good. it’s a break-up song. a slow, sad, break-up song. that lasts seven and a half fucking minutes. i learned my mistake the first time and took this song out of the line-up for the rest of the experiment. but [HEAR MARS], that defeats the whole purpose of the experiment! hey, fuck you man I’m trying to have sex here. 1/5

7. chop me up (feat. timbaland & three 6 mafia)

that’s much better. there’s so much bounce here; the possibilities are infinite. this song also has the album’s best sex moment at 3:02. [so true, 2006 me. so true] three 6 mafia’s verse kicks in and timbaland throws in piano stabs that couldn’t help but make the girls want to go faster. and faster. and faster. “oh hell yes.” that’s a direct quote. 4/5

8. damn girl (feat. will.i.am)

will.i.am has way too much annoying repetition in his song structure (see busta’s “i love my bitch” and “my humps”). thank god that doesn’t make an ounce of difference in the bedroom. damn. damn girl. damn girl. damn girl. damn girl. damn girl. damn. gimme some. damn girl. damn girl. damn girl. damn girl. damn girl. damn. (this is the actual chorus) the drums and the keys were right on target. so were the girls. 4/5

9. summer love/set the mood prelude

the perfect beat to cream your jeans to. [more indicative of the sexual behavior i was more likely to be participating in at the time] there’s something very suspicious about the consistency of timbaland and danjahands’ production on this album. TOO suspicious. this was the perfect note to end on though. listen to the prelude with your eyes closed and you can practically smell the post-coitus cigarette. not to say that there was one. (i may or may not be on probation [i was]) but you could still imagine it. 5/5

'[HEAR MARS], I have to say I was very surprised,' one girl said to me while we lay in bed, letting track 10 (the ballad that should have closed the album) play out in the background.

being the modest man i am i caught myself turning a little red. 'oh you mean the performance? well, it’s really not something that can be taught. You have to have more of an instinct for…'

'i was talking about the justin timberlake album. i actually liked it. a lot.'

'yeah,' I said after a moment’s pause, putting my arms behind my head and deciding not to push for dessert. 'yeah, I did too.'

wes anderson is the new black

quentin tarantino must be soo pissed at wes anderson. here was QT, king of the soundtrack, dictator of the jukebox, god of all that are album cuts and resurrector of obscure little ditties to the hipster culture palette. he was unchallenged in his craft, until some little nerd(ier) weasel made friends with that guy from devo and started shitting all over quentin's legacy. who does this guy think he is??

well wes anderson, soundtrack machine, you have converted me. quentin's cool, but i have low expectations for inglorious basterds (and its accompanying music). truth be told, while i dig jackie brown, i'm a pop muthafucka and QT just isn't geeky enough to satisfy my needs anymore.

that's what she said.

five movies, five songs. here comes the money shot:

Bottle Rocket: Love - Alone Again Or (okay, starting off with a slight exception since this is love's most well-known song)

Rushmore: John Lennon - Oh Yoko!

The Royal Tenenbaums: Van Morrison - Everyone

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou: David Bowie - Queen Bitch

The Darjeeling Limited: The Kinks - Strangers

cool wiki trivia fact i found while hitting the books:

in royal tenenbaums, there is this fantastic scene with luke wilson and gwyneth paltrow in luke's tent that he's set up in his living room. during that scene, luke puts on the rolling stone's album between the buttons, and the songs "she smiled sweetly" and "ruby tuesday" play consecutively. i always thought that was so dope because it made it seem like they were actually just letting the album play out, like would happen in real life (i guess in the olden days now). however, as wiki pointed out, those two songs have never appeared consecutively on any stones release. wes, you sly fox you!

oh yeah, also everyone and queen bitch remind me of a fantastic point: wes anderson is the undisputed champion of slo-mo!!!!!!

NEW MUSIC: starrrrrchild

i'm duper pumped about this one. i decided it's too good for me to throw anybody else's vocals over it. EPPIIIIICCCCCC!!!!!!!! or, as kanye would say, stadium status.

here are a list of people i would consider producing this song for, in no particular order, and not intentionally misogynist:

1. weezy f. baby

2. drake/kid cudi (is there really that much of a difference?)

3. cee-lo

4. bob dylan

5. the streets

big leagues, here i come.

Hear Mars - Starrrrrchild

the sample (great song btw, shout out to my dad who finally figured out i inherited his good taste in music):

Electric Light Orchestra - Ticket to the Moon

MIXXXES: SHORTS.

(mixxxes is an ongoing mixtape series i started when i realized elise needed better music in her life. with some exceptions, there is rarely a theme per say - i just try to mix the relatively unknown with the seriously-overplayed popular, the brand new with the oldie but goodies, and try to create a magical listening experience you probably wouldn't find someone else burning on a cd-r)

1. sebastien tellier - divine

2. prince - raspberry beret

3. lady gaga - paper gangsta

4. gang starr - above the clouds (feat. inspectah deck)

5. major lazer - hold the line (dj edit feat. mr. lexxx & santigold)

6. the killers - when you were young

7. passion pit - little secret

8. basement jaxx - raindrops

9. common - inhale

10. the notorious b.i.g. - hypnotize (hear mars pregnant robots remix)

11. ryan leslie - gibberish

12. ween - freedom of '76

13. vampire weekend - cape cod kwassa kwassa

14. drake - best i ever had

15. rick ross - maybach music 2 (feat. t-pain, lil wayne and kanye west)

16. justin timberlake - (and she said) take me now

17. slum village - tainted (feat. dwele)

18. electric light orchestra - don't bring me down

19. mgmt - time to pretend

sorry, no individual uploads. you're gonna have to download the whole thing.

Hear Mars - SHORTS.

saturday's soundbites to take up space

another month, another air yeezy colorway passes me by. i have a feeling the black and pink were the end all be all. too bad i have a JOB, so i can't afford to take off three days to sit on a street corner and have guys trying to pull all sorts of funny business in the line.

jake frumkin, is that you in front???

***

it's been like a month since there was anything new and worthwhile to download. music or videos. the economy's even affecting the piraters... where's the loot?

***

i hate to say it, but every time i watch the amazing video i hate it a little less. and speaking of videos everyone hates, i'm kind of digging the asher roth/cee-lo video, even if the song's just meh.

***

just in case you've forgotten, trent reznor is pop. like in a sunshine in your tummy good kind of way. don't just take my word on it.